


you can see my heart burning in the distance

by 152glasslippers



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Future Fic, Light Smut, Love Confessions, smut with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 14:31:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16662665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/152glasslippers/pseuds/152glasslippers
Summary: “What’s got you so scared, huh?”It sounds so much like a question she asked him on a sunny day so long ago, back before she could have him, before she knew that she belonged to him.Maybe that’s why she answers.“I love you.”Contents are what they say on the container.





	you can see my heart burning in the distance

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Sinning Sunday! This fic is entirely too indulgent, but *shrug emoji* here we are. Enjoy some light smut and heavy emotions. xx

She loves him, but she can’t say it.

If she says it, he might run. If he knows, he might end it.

_How can he not know?_

She loves Frank Castle, and the words burn like a fire in her throat. She loves him so much, it’s a physical thing. It’s a foreign object in her chest, her lungs forcing air around the pain of it, her body begging her to let it out so she can breathe again.

She loves him, but she can’t tell him, and it makes her cry.

It makes her cry when they’re lying in her bed and he’s bottomed out inside of her.

He’s pressing her into the mattress, every inch of his body covering every inch of hers. An echo of the first time she felt Frank’s weight on top of her, a moment that would haunt her, tease her in her fucked-up dreams, clinging to him like a lifeline for entirely different reasons.

He’s got his head buried in her shoulder now, his forehead tucked against her neck like it belongs there, the soft texture of his beard rubbing against her sweat-soaked skin, and he’s pounding it into her with every thrust. _I love him, I love him. I love you, I love you._ She clutches him tighter, her arms around his neck, her fingers digging into his back. She wraps a leg around his waist, bringing him even closer.

They’re both panting so hard it hides the sound of her breaking, the moment her breaths become sobs. But Frank lifts his head to kiss her cheek and he must taste salt because he immediately freezes and says, “Karen?” in a voice so rough she feels it scrape against the bottom of her lungs.

He pulls back to look at her, and she crumbles. Another sob bubbles up in her throat, but it’s too quiet now; she can’t hide it. She shakes her head against it, claps a hand over her mouth, face contorting with the effort to keep it in.

“Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.” He’s ducking his head, trying to meet her eyes. She can’t look at him. “What’s going on?” He hesitates, draws back even further, his entire body suddenly tense. He’s still inside her. “Did I hurt you?”

“No!” It bursts out of her like a shot, sobering her instantly. “God no.” She brushes his hair away from his eyes, trails her fingers down his cheek. “No,” she says more steadily.

“Then what is it?” His face is so solemn.

“It’s just…” She tries to take a deep breath, careful, measured. Can’t. “…overwhelming,” she finishes.

Now his face is heartbreakingly soft. He lifts one eyebrow, a smile in his eyes. “Yeah.”

He leans down and kisses her, then rolls off of her. He’s still hard, but he doesn’t pay it any attention. She feels the loss of him like a hunger, an emptiness she can feel. A void with its own shape and sharp edges.

“That’s not all it is.” It’s both a statement and a question. They watch each other for a moment. “Shit, Karen, you look terrified.”

He reaches out and lays his hand across her cheek, his fingers sliding into her hair. Her favorite touch.

He’s lying on his side facing her, and she can almost smell the smoke, almost feel the cold tile, almost believe they’re back at the hotel, seconds after the bomb, making sure the other is alive.

But the only debris is their clothes scattered around her room, and the only threat is the answer to his next question.

“What’s got you so scared, huh?”

It sounds so much like a question she asked him on a sunny day so long ago, back before she could have him, before she knew that she belonged to him.

Maybe that’s why she answers.

“I love you.”

His hand slips just a little.

“And that scares you?”

She shakes her head under his palm. “I’m scared of what saying it will do to you.”

He’s on her again in a second, sliding his arms between her and the mattress, holding her to him. He’s never kissed her this deeply. He’s breathing life back into her. It soothes the ache in her chest. She threads her fingers through his hair.

She loves him. She loves him. She loves him.

When Frank breaks the kiss, he doesn’t go far. He speaks the words right into her mouth.

“What do you think I’m doing here, Karen? Why do you think I kept coming back? I can’t say goodbye to you. Tried that once already.”

He pauses, and she knows they’re both hearing the same words, their cruelest.

_You do this, and you’re dead to me.  
I’m already dead._

She clenches her jaw against the memory.

“Didn’t take.”

His eyes are soft again.

“I got a second life; I got the after you wanted for me. And I came looking for you. Truth is, this thing between us, maybe this thing took a while, but the day I knocked on your door, I knew it then.” He swallows, his eyes locked on hers. “I think I loved you the first moment I saw you. Just couldn’t feel it yet.”

She floats up to him, kisses him. She’s smiling against his lips; she’s lighter than air. She draws him back down to the bed, touches her forehead to his, whispers it this time.

“I love you.”

He closes his eyes like it’s a blessing. Opens them again.

“I love you,” he says.

Her whole body is alive, electric. She can feel him against her stomach, maybe even harder than before. She’s at least three times as desperate for him. He must be thinking the same thing because his eyes darken, and he’s looking at her like he’s waiting for an answer.

“Please.” She’s begging, even though she doesn’t need to.

One swift move and he’s inside her. She’s still wet, but he’s careful, slow, or maybe he’s just taking his time. It feels precious in some way. New. Different.

He’s flush against her, deep, and she can’t breathe again, not until he starts moving, until she starts moving with him. Frank’s mouth is filthy on hers, on her jawline, on her neck, on the spot behind her ear.

“Say it again.”

“I love you,” she answers. “I love you. I love you.”

She’s so turned on, it’s not long until she’s back where this all started, Frank’s face buried in her shoulder, her fingers clutching at his back, but it’s too soon. Now that she’s here, now that she’s told him, she wants to stay locked with him forever. She’s rapidly unraveling, but she doesn’t want it to end.

“Let go, Karen,” he tells her.

She holds his face in both hands.

“You told me never to let go.”

The smile she gets is another favorite, one corner of his mouth lifting higher than the other, a mixture of surprise and delight, like he still sometimes can’t believe she’s real. Like she’s a marvel.

“Not what I meant.”

She smiles back at him, and it’s only another one, two, three thrusts before she’s coming, back arching off the bed so sharp it’s almost painful. But Frank’s hand is tracing her spine, keeping her from breaking in two, and then she’s falling, spiraling, taking him down with her, tipping him over the edge into bliss before she’s even done shaking.

Frank collapses on top of her and for one delicious, delirious moment, she’s holding him entirely. He never used to do that, always saying he was too heavy, he’d crush her, but she told him she liked the way it made her breathless, that split second of too much before she went back to not enough.

He slips out of her, rolls them onto their sides like he always does, so they can stay this close, nose-to-nose. She slips her leg from his waist, loosens her arm around his neck. Her fingertips drift across his cheek and then stay there, too exhausted to move any further. Her eyes fall closed, and she ceases to exist anywhere Frank’s not touching her.

“How long you been keeping that a secret?” His fingers are on her collarbone, brushing the ends of her hair over her shoulder.

She opens her eyes to look at Frank. He rubs his thumb along the line of her jaw, and her lips twitch into a smile.

“A long time.”

She takes a deep breath, free and clear. Frank’s gaze feels newly intense, like a picture sharpened and brought into focus. It makes her bolder. Braver.

“So the moment you met me, huh?”

She almost gets another grin, but it slips before it can reach maximum brightness, overtaken by something more serious. His thumb moves to her bottom lip, and his eyes follow.

“World changed the day my family died. I changed. And then you walked into that hospital room. And it changed all over again.”

She’s frozen under his touch, his words, his gravity. He looks back up at her.

“Changed again the day I decided to stay.”

“How long?” There’s no sound to her voice, only breath and air.

His thumb grasps her chin, pulls her that last inch toward him, and he kisses her. Soft, chaste. Just the warmth of his mouth on hers. A promise.

“Long time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
